יום חמישי, 6 בדצמבר 2012

The Mathematical Paradox

"In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two."

Erich Fromm

Or a poem in the same spirit:

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”

SWEETEST FRIENDS! Many relationships are destroyed when one person tries to SMOTHER the other. This happens in marriage, between parents and children and sometimes even with friends.

"BUT WE ARE ONE!", she says. Yes you are one - but you are also two. TWO parts of a whole, each part contributing its unique talents and abilities to make for a blessed union. So, for example, if both the husband and wife go to learn at night, who will be with the children. If both the husband and wife do the dishes and laundry who will learn??

So noooooooo, I am not suggesting that the husband not do the dishes and that the wife not learn. CHAS VI'SHALOM! She MUST [in the year 2011] learn and he should do the dishes [unless he hires a lovely Spanish woman to do it] and help around the house. However, the roles of the husband and wife must not be blurred. They have independent needs, wants and responsibilities which need to be fulfilled.

Don't hold your spouse on a short leash. Give your kids independence.

Allow for people to develop in their own special way.


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