“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.” -H.V. Prochnow
"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.” -Unknown
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.” -Minnie Pearl
"Behind every great man there is a surprised woman."
“They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” -Mae West
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield
“A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.” -Grace Hansen
“If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.”
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women." -Marion Smith
“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?” -Barbra Streisand
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran